By Bryan Alvarez, WrestlingObserver.com
Tonight’s PPV features a King of the Mountain match: Jeff Jarrett vs. Matt Hardy vs. Drew Galloway vs. Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode.
Mike Tenay, the Pope and Josh Matthews are doing commentary.
Tigre Uno vs. DJ Z vs. Manik in an elimination match for the X-Division Title.
Uno came out as X-Division champion, with the belt.
They had a generic three-way match, nothing great, nothing wrong with it. Everyone worked hard. There was a funny line when someone did a spot and the Pope said, “Shades of Elijah Burke!”, which, of course, was his real name and WWE gimmick. The usual stacked-up superplex, dives to the outside, etc.
Uno eliminated DJ Z with a variation of a split-legged moonsault, leading to the singles match between Manik and Uno. Uno beat him about a minute later with a corkscrew senton. They dropped streamers from the ceiling afterwards.
We were urged to follow Dixie on Twitter.
Jeremy Borash backstage thanked all of their partners all around the world. I suppose the idea was that this is an anniversary show so it’s a time for reflection, but it sure sounded like he was essentially saying goodbye.
Robbie E did an insane promo pretending like he was a chicken. But then he said tonight the clucking Robbie E was out the door and it was time for serious Robbie E. His former partner tried to kill him and take away his love for pro-wrestling, so he was gonna make him his bitch tonight.
JESSE THE MAN GODDERZ vs. Robbie E.
Jesse has new dramatic music and a robe with a furry collar. That better not be cat.
Jesse did a promo before the match saying he’s no bitch. “Look at me!” Fans chanted “YOU SUCK!” He said Robbie had no idea how much work it took to be a man. He said you don’t look like him by sitting behind a computer or by bitching and complaining. Robbie’s music finally just cut him off.
Robbie ran wild early, tossed him outside and hit a plancha. Jesse cut him off and threw him into the steps for the heat. Robbie took a crazy flip bump into the steps. “LET’S GO ROBBIE!”
Tenay makes sure to mention that Robbie beat Jay Lethal for the TV Title once.
Jesse worked him over forever. He attempted to win via bear hug submission. This tactic failed. Robbie finally made his big comeback. Fans were into it. He hit a nice DDT for a nearfall. Lots of nearfalls. Jesse cut him off and hit a buckle bomb, then a powerbomb, BUT NOTHING COULD KEEP ROBBIE E DOWN. Fans were starting to lose interest. Jesse put him in THE ADONIS LOCK, which is a Boston crab. E made the ropes. Then, moments later, he hit a reverse DDT for the clean pin.
Yes, two matches have taken 40 minutes with almost no downtime.
Matt Hardy did a promo. He said tonight he was going to prove he was a great singles wrestler by winning the KING OF THE MOUNTAIN TITLE tonight. Jeff Jarrett has stated that if he wins he’s taking the belt to Global Force, so I would presume this match is essentially designed to crown the first-ever GFW Champion.
Bram vs. Matt Morgan’s Designer Jeans.
Well, he didn’t wear his jeans in this match.
They said Morgan was the blueprint of what a wrestler should look like, and Tenay said he was a can’t miss prospect. It’s been TWELVE YEARS since he debuted and I’m still waiting. He is in shape, I’ll give him that.
Morgan did a promo demanding a streetfight.
So they had a streetfight. They brawled, they used turnbuckles from under the ring, trash cans, etc. Should have had a mini in the trash can as a callback to the early days of TNA. Morgan made a big comeback consisting entirely of wrestling moves in the wrestling ring. Keep in mind he’s the guy who wanted the streetfight. He finally kicked a trash can into Bram’s head. Bram went under the ring to find a gimmick but couldn’t find it. He was under there forever. AND THEN HE GOT INTO THE RING WITH NOTHING. So then he went back out and tried again. This would probably be easier if the ring only had 4 sides. Finally Bram just got some chairs. Morgan chokeslammed him onto one of them but Bram kicked out. He tried another, but Bram gave him a low blow and DDT’d him onto a chair for the pin.
So Morgan is an idiot, asking Bram for a match that is Bram’s specialty and then losing clean in it.
Tenay said he hoped it wasn’t 2 more years before we saw Morgan again. Yup.
Borash interviewed EC3 and Tyrus. They’re pretending he’s not champion. He said he looks like a champion and feels like a champion and on Wednesday you’ll see him become the champion. Tyrus told him to worry about Kurt Angle and he’d worry about this upcoming tag match.
Austin Aries vs. Davey Richards to determine which guy gets to choose IRON MAN MATCH as the stip for their final tag bout in best-of-five.
Aries, who is done with the company, was doing as little as humanly possible early. The good news is that Austin Aries and Davey Richards can do as little as humanly possible and still have a good match, unlike the previous bout.
Biggest surprise early was Aries doing a double sledge off the post to the floor. Later, he tried to scare an infant by chopping Davey as hard as he could right in front of him and then pointing at the kid, but the kid LOL’d the whole time.
Davey made his big comeback and hit a springboard elbow and Aries sold it by essentially sitting on his ass and then rolling to his back. Was hilarious. He did hit his tope to the outside, pretty aggressively in fact, and a dropkick off the top. He put on the last chancery but Davey got the ropes.
Match really picked up in the last few minutes. Davey hit a giant double footstomp off the top but Aries kicked out. Bobby Roode then came down to ringside. He got on the apron and was yelling at Aries. Eddie Edwards ran down and pulled him off the apron. Davey Richards, WHO IS STAYING WITH TNA, then got rolled up and pinned by Austin Aries, WHO IS LEAVING TNA.
Aries then did a promo and said he was choosing — you’ll never guess — AN IRON MAN MATCH! He actually claimed bra and panties first, then said he was joking. This was by far the best match on the show.
Eric Young did a promo saying he was ready to become the new King of the Mountain. Eric does a great crazy man promo.
Dollhouse vs. Awesome Kong & Brooke.
They’re pretending Taryn is still TNA Champion. Taryn cut a classic Taryn-style promo before the match. She’s amazing.
A video was just tweeted of the King of the Mountain Title belt. This is the one that Jeff Jarrett says he’s going to win and take to Global Force Wrestling. It has “TNA” all over it.
They did a spot early when Marti and Jade got ran together in the corner, and they had to stand there hugging for like 10 seconds waiting for Kong to squish them. Kong, by the way, looks much trimmer. She ran wild on both girls early, double splashed them, etc. Taryn stood on the apron yelling at them and telling them to get their acts together.
Heels cut off Brooke. Taryn stayed out of the ring. Brooke got a tag but the ref didn’t see it. Of course, their timing was off, as the ref turned around just in time to see Marti clap her hands for the fake tag, and he had to pretend he didn’t see it. Brooke then ended up right next to her own corner twice, but instead of tagging she kept doing moves. She finally got the real hot tag. Kong ran wild on Marti and Jade and then tagged in Brooke. Brooke pinned Jade with an X-Factor off the top, which they call, seriously, THE BUTTERFACE MAKER.
I wrote way too much about that.
Borash interviewed Magnus. He flat-out admitted he and James Storm were performing here on PPV for the LAST TIME. He cut a sensitive father promo about how Storm tried to take out his family. He has to believe love his stronger than hate, he said, no matter how much he loves how hate feels. This was a good promo.
James Storm vs. Magnus in an everyone leaves town match.
Technically this was an unsanctioned street fight. They brawled all over the land. They used tables and chairs and gimmicks. They ended up brawling near the back and Earl Hebner was screaming, “GET OUTTA HERE, IT’S HIGH VOLTAGE!” They kicked some gimmick which lead to them turning the lights off for awhile, like they’d short-circuited their ImpacTron. I think they thought this would get a pop but nobody cared at all. Then they went back to the ring. That was much ado about nothing.
Storm set up a table outside but then got distracted yelling at Earl Hebner, and Magnus put him on the table (Storm, not Earl). He went into the ring, climbed up onto the post and did a flying elbow. Storm moved and Magnus crashed through the table. Looked like it sucked. Eight children chanted “THIS IS AWESOME!” Magnus FIGHTING FOR CHILDREN and they start cheered when he nearly killed himself. Storm got salt but Magnus knocked it into both his face and Earl’s face, so Earl couldn’t count. Storm then superkicked Magnus but Magnus kicked out. Storm hit a cowbell shot and two superkicks but Magnus still kicked out. Storm set up the guardrail between two chairs gimmick in the ring. Magnus cut him off and superplexed him onto the guardrail. Ow.
Finally, both guys got beer bottles, they hit each other at the same time, they both fell down, and even though both men are leaving TNA, they put the heel who tried to kill the babyface’s wife by shoving her in front of a moving train over. Oh well.
Storm was pretty much saying goodbye to the crowd when they went TO THE BACK quick.
JB interviewed Drew Galloway. He’s gonna end the BDC on Wednesday, or something. And he’s gonna win the King of the Mountain match. He actually said this was his first main event on PPV and thus the biggest night of his wrestling career. I got news for him. This was a good promo though.
Back to the announcers, but nobody turned on their mics. So we just watched dudes sweeping out the ring as generic music played. Then there was silence for a long time. Every now and then the announcers would pop in for a brief moment. Then they were cutting in and out, in and out. We’re going on five minutes here. Finally they just gave up and started ring intros for the next match with no commentary.
EC3 & Tyrus vs. Mr. Anderson & Lashley
Guess whose mic didn’t work for his ring entrance? Lashley came out with a Bellator shirt on, promoting an MMA organization that airs on Spike TV. Josh finally came back and said they were going to do their best to provide commentary. That would be new. His mic was working and Tenay’s mic was working.
Pope finally got his mic back and the first thing he did was refer to Anderson as “Mr. Kennedy”. There have been tons of OVW references tonight.
Heat on Lashley. Then he got the hot tag to Anderson. I think there was a cradle spot here that he forgot based on the reaction of EC3. He made a quick comeback then they cut him off. Crowd was dead. Anderson tagged Lashley. He actually missed but the ref let it go, thankfully. This was barely a house show match. Lashley ran wild on EC3 and it broke down into a four-way. We got both babyfaces beating on Tyrus, and dear God was this terrible. Lashley finally speared him, but then turned around into the one percenter by THE NUMBER-ONE CONTENDER and current TNA World Heavyweight Champion EC3.
EC3 then grabbed a replica TNA World Heavyweight title and held it up after the match. I’m losing steam here.
Borash interviewed Jeff and Karen Jarrett. Her outfit almost made this show worthwhile.
King of the Mountain match for the KING OF THE MOUNTAIN TITLE which appears to also be the TNA LEGENDS TITLE with Drew Galloway, Jeff Jarrett, Matt Hardy, Eric Young and Bobby Roode.
Don’t even ask me to explain the rules. I’ll direct you to this, a 2:23 second video explaining them. TWO MINUTES AND 23 SECONDS.
Fans chanted “THANK YOU JARRETT!” Unless they were cheering for Karen’s side boob, which is possible, that means that the OUTSIDER, whose plan is to WIN AND THEN TAKE THE BELT ELSEWHERE, was the most over guy in the match.
THEN JARRETT WAS PINNED A MOMENT LATER. He’s in a box now. He has to be there 2 minutes. Since Roode pinned him, that means he’s eligible to climb a ladder and hang the title in a REVERSE LADDER MATCH to become champion.
All true, the above.
It gets better. Everyone is counting down to when he can get out, and then the moment he gets out Eric Young DDT’s him and PINS HIM AGAIN.
“Back in the box!” says Josh Matthews.
Matt Hardy and Drew Galloway both got pinfalls somewhere in here, so they became eligible and two men ended up in a box. Josh then got massively confused and had no idea what was going on, and admitted such.
At this point I THINK everyone was eligible except Jeff Jarrett. Tenay said this was the case so I’m presuming this was accurate.
Roode and Eric Young ended up in the cage together so they decided to reunite Team Canada, here in 2015, and work together. Hardy and Galloway got superplexed and sent into the box. The story was Jeff almost got a pin and his eligibility but it was snatched from him.
Jeff finally hit a guitar shot to become eligible. Pope finally figured out that if Jeff won he was going to take the belt with him. Get with the program, dude.
Eric gave Jarrett a piledriver on a ladder bridge. Jarrett sold like he was dead. Nobody bothered to pin him even though it was falls count anywhere. Galloway did a flip dive off the penalty box onto Young, Hardy and Roode. That was pretty cool. He went to climb the ladder.
At this point everyone took turns climbing the ladder and trying to hang the belt. Someone cut them off every time. Even though Jeff was dead, Karen was leading the fans in New Day claps as they chanted for Jarrett. Roode and Young both climbed, and Team Canada immediately broke up again. Eric knocked Roode off and went to climb. Jarrett came back from the dead and gave him a stroke off the ladder, then grabbed the belt, climbed up and hung the title.
JEFF JARRETT IS THE KING OF THE MOUNTAIN AND GLOBAL FORCE WRESTLING NOW HAS A TNA CHAMPIONSHIP!
Josh wanted to know what this mean for the future. Based on five weeks of tapings already in the can, probably not much.
*****
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