During this year’s Senior Bowl practices, Washington State quarterback Luke Falk has been wearing the uniform number of his teammate, Tyler Hilinski, who died by suicide on Jan. 16. The gesture was a way to work through the anguish of losing a friend, Falk said at a press conference on Wednesday, as well as the understandable feelings of guilt and the lingering belief that if only they’d let Hilinski known how much he and his teammates cared, maybe they could have prevented this somehow.

“I wish that I could’ve given him one more hug,” said Falk. “I wish I could’ve given him a pat on the butt one more time and just let him know that he’s loved.”

A candlelight vigil held by the university the week prior to the Senior Bowl also provided a measure of closure, but Falk also stressed that when it comes to male athletes, suicidal thoughts can (falsely) be seen as an expression of weakness or character flaw — all of which can serve to further isolate the person suffering.

Via ESPN:

Zach Heeman is a senior and offensive lineman at Rutgers. Upon learning of Hilinski’s suicide, the pain of losing his brother Luke — who died by suicide while Heeman was still in high school — came flooding back.

“There’s no way to describe that raw feeling, that emptiness that you have when you first hear the news,” he said. “He was such an example for me growing up, everything he did.”

Heeman plans to become a high school guidance counselor following graduation. In the interim, he’s using the media attention provided by football to raise awareness about the prevalence of teen suicide. According to the World Health Organization, suicide ranks as the second-leading cause of death for all 15-24-year-olds worldwide,

“It’s such a platform to play at Rutgers,” he said. “So if it’s something as simple as reaching out to kids I know who may be struggling on campus … if I can help even one kid get out of that dark place, then that’s what I’m going to do.’”

While he initially did not plan to make it public, Heeman said he’s written a letter to Hilinski’s younger brother, Ryan, a junior in high school and college prospect.

Heeman described the contents of the letter to NJ.com:

Falk has received positive reviews for his play this week, and scouts have him pegged as a potential mid-to-late round pick in this year’s NFL draft. He will not play in the game itself, though, as he left early to attend Hilinski’s funeral.

Share image by Otto Greule Jr./Getty Images.