After looking at every Premier League club’s greatest ever January signing, let’s check out their worst.
ARSENAL – Kaba Diawara
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer might see Dennis Bergkamp’s FA Cup semi-final penalty miss as the point Arsenal’s Double became Manchester United’s Treble in 1999, but the sliding-doors moment arguably came even later.
The two sides were separated by goal difference heading into the final two games of the Premier League season, and both faced difficult fixtures. United had to travel to Blackburn and host Tottenham, while Arsenal visited Leeds and took on Aston Villa at Highbury.
Arsenal blinked first. They were beaten 1-0 by Leeds 24 hours before United drew 0-0 at Ewood Park, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink netting the goal that effectively crowned United champions.
But the game will always be remembered for the inexplicable profligacy of crossbar challenge champion Kaba Diawara, who was thwarted by woodwork and Nigel Marytn about four times in a 19-minute substitute cameo.
The striker had joined that January for £2.5m, and was billed by Arsene Wenger as the next Nicolas Anelka. Fifteen games, no goals and 123 days after moving to north London, he was loaned back out to France and never played for the Gunners again.
BOURNEMOUTH – Lewis Grabban
Eddie Howe reacted to his first January transfer window as a Premier League manager with all the restraint of Neil Custis in an argument with Jim White. That Josh King ended their first top-flight season as top scorer with seven goals suggests they needed a striker, but Juan Iturbe, Benik Afobe and Lewis Grabban for a combined £18m is rarely ever the answer.
Iturbe was a loan, and Afobe was vaguely understandable, the Premier League virgin having impressed with Championship Wolves. But the deal for Grabban was just bizarre. Bournemouth signed the forward for £300,000 in 2012, sold him for £3m in 2014, then watched him score one goal in six top-flight games for Norwich before deciding to part with £8m to bring him back. He scored one goal in 22 appearances for the Cherries before finally leaving again last summer.
BRIGHTON – Jonny Dixon
“The joke was always that I was the least footballery footballer they knew,” said Spanish-born, gospel choir-managing, clothes-selling, screenwriting, music management company-owning, Holly Valance-dating Jonny Dixon last year. Brighton signed the forward for £55,000 in January 2008, but Dean Wilkins never gave him enough of a chance. Dixon made just five league appearances for the Seagulls before retiring 18 months later at the age of 25 to concentrate on his numerous business ventures. The TV and film producer and director counts Come Dine With Me among his numerous credits; you could hardly say he made a mistake in hanging up his boots.
BURNLEY – Leon Cort
Pipping fellow January 2010 arrival Frederic Nimani to the post by virtue of signing for actual, real-life currency, Leon Cort was not quite the £1.5m saviour Burnley needed him to be. Brian Laws had been thrust into the managerial hotseat following Owen Coyle’s departure for Barclays Premier League rivals Bolton, and decided that a defence of Andre Bikey, Clarke Carlisle, Tyrone Mears and Stephan Jordan was not sufficient to prolong their first season in the top flight since 1976. So Cort was slotted straight into the starting line-up, with the Clarets winning just two of his 15 games, conceding 36 goals and not keeping a single clean sheet.
Ruben Loftus-Cheek’s half-brother signed a three-and-a-half-year deal at Turf Moor, but was gone within two after a couple of loan spells. He remains popular as ever in Lancashire.
CARDIFF – Magnus Wolff Eikrem
“I see this as money well spent,” said Ole Gunnar Solskjaer in January 2014, presenting Cardiff’s new £2m signing to the assorted media. Magnus Wolff Eikrem arrived with a solid reputation – and a pretty sizeable wage packet – as a promising Manchester United youth product turned Molde and Heerenveen stalwart. Yet his time in south Wales was an unqualified failure: he made 11 appearances, could not keep them in the Premier League, was placed on the transfer list in the Championship and had his contract terminated by mutual consent 11 months after joining.
CHELSEA – Juan Cuadrado
Fernando Torres is the obvious answer, and while his transfer fee was more than twice that of Juan Cuadrado, his impact was three or four times more telling than the Colombian’s. Torres can at least claim to have played a huge part in the club’s Champions and Europa League wins; Cuadrado started four Premier League games and assisted one goal in their run to the title after arriving in January 2015. He was loaned out to Juventus that summer, then again in August 2016, and left Stamford Bridge to make his Turin move permanent in May 2017.
CRYSTAL PALACE – Valerien Ismael
It took until the 2013 arrival of Dwight Gayle for Crystal Palace to finally and completely exorcise the lingering ghost of Valerien Ismael. The defender was the club’s record signing for 15 years after joining from Strasbourg for £2.75m in an ill-fated attempt from Steve Coppell to maintain their Premier League status. The Frenchman played 13 games, left for less than £2.75m after nine months and was playing for Bayern Munich within seven years.
EVERTON – Shani Tarashaj
There is every chance that Shani Tarashaj leaves Everton without ever making a first-team appearance. Signed by Roberto Martinez in January 2016 for £3m, the forward was sent straight back out on loan to Grasshopper for the remainder of the season. He then spent last season with Eintracht Frankfurt before returning to Grasshopper, with Ronald Koeman, David Unsworth, Sam Allardyce and now Marco Silva reluctant to give him his first Goodison Park chance. The 23-year-old was uncapped when he joined Everton, yet has since played five times for Switzerland – including at Euro 2016.
FULHAM – Kostas Mitroglou
As Fulham career towards another Premier League relegation, it is worth remembering the catastrophe of their last top-flight sojourn. A 13-year stay in the division came to an abrupt end in a season which saw one of the shortest Premier League managerial reigns in history courtesy of Rene Meulensteen, with his successor deciding to try and treat injuries with cheese. The club-record arrival of Kostas Mitroglou only accelerated the process; fitness problems restricted him to just three appearances, and he was loaned out twice before being sold for half of his initial fee.
HUDDERSFIELD – Lionel Ainsworth
“Lionel didn’t hit the heights we expected from him here,” said Lee Clark of Lionel Ainsworth, without even the slightest hint of irony. “We did have higher hopes for him but it wasn’t to be and the best thing for all parties is for him to move on and start afresh.”
Ainsworth was Clark’s first signing as Terriers manager in January 2009, arriving with quite the reputation. But the winger started just seven games in his first half-season, failing to score or assist a single goal for his new club until August. He was loaned out by January 2010 and sold that summer.
LEICESTER – Andrej Kramaric
After being mistakenly invited before turning up late and to the wrong address with no gift, Andrej Kramaric still let it be known that he was “glad to be part of” the Leicester title party. Riyad Mahrez claimed the individual awards, Jamie Vardy scored the goals, N’Golo Kante ran the miles, Marc Albrighton won the hearts and Wes Morgan lifted the trophy, but Kramaric’s no goals or assists in 22 Premier League minutes before being loaned back to the Bundesliga will be fondly remembered at the King Power Stadium for generations.
The forward was a club-record signing in January 2015 with Leicester battling against relegation. He scored two goals in 13 games, one in a defeat and another on the final day when safety was already secured. And now he is actually tearing it up at Hoffenheim.
LIVERPOOL – Andy Carroll
There can only be one. No laptop guru worth his charger would possibly have sanctioned a £35m move for a 22-year-old striker with 14 top-flight career goals, yet Liverpool were panicked into such a move in January 2011. With Fernando Torres headed to Chelsea, a replacement had to be sourced. Newcastle were so stunned that Carroll was the chosen one that they rejected an initial £30m bid. Liverpool somehow came back with an extra £5m to get their man.
Carroll became the eighth most expensive footballer – and most expensive British player – ever. He did not make his debut until March, did not score his first goal until April, netted just 11 times in 58 games overall, and was sold for just £15m in 2013. At least Steven Caulker was a loan.
MANCHESTER CITY – Wilfried Bony
Before Harry Kane officially made it A Thing, Wilfried Bony was busy scribbling ‘top Premier League scorer in a single calendar year with 20 goals in 2014’ under the achievements section of his CV. And it bloody well worked, as Manchester City were so impressed with the Swansea forward’s productivity that they parted with £25m to sign him and ostracise Edin Dzeko. Ten games in 46 games hardly convinced the newly appointed Pep Guardiola that he could lead the line.
MANCHESTER UNITED – Zoran Tosic
With the benefit of the doubt afforded to Alexis Sanchez, Manchester United have to go back a decade to find their worst January signing. ‘It could be Tosic who is charged with filling the Welshman’s boots when Giggs eventually retires,’ reported the club’s website upon his £8m signing in January 2009. The winger managed a total of 79 minutes in all competitions, and was sold to CSKA Moscow after 18 months, very much living up to the first syllable of his last name.
NEWCASTLE – Jean-Alain Boumsong
A transfer so inexplicable that it formed a key part of the Stevens inquiry into football corruption, Newcastle exceeded even themselves in January 2005. Jean-Alain Boumsong had been available as a free agent just six months before Graeme Souness signed him from Rangers for £8m on a five-and-a-half-year contract.
“The supporters will enjoy watching him play,” said the Scot. “He is potentially a top man in our football team. I think he expects to be up there with the likes of Terry and Ferdinand.”
Wogan and Anton, presumably.
SOUTHAMPTON – Guido Carrillo
Like a firefighter arriving at the scene armed with a water pistol, Guido Carrillo was the absolute last thing Southampton’s doctor ordered. The striker started more games (5) than he had shots on target (4) in the Premier League, offering about as much to the club’s successful battle against relegation as Mark Hughes. It is a wonder they haven’t just plucked someone off the street and paid £20m for their servives, just to ensure their club-record signing isn’t quite so embarrassing.
TOTTENHAM – Ricardo Rocha
The story of Tottenham’s 2006/07 season should be part of the national curriculum. From finishing fifth in the Premier League to reaching two quarter-finals and one semi-final, there was also a Paul Robinson goal, only the fifth ever shared Player of the Month award, and Edgar Davids playing alongside Andy Barcham and Dorian Dervite in a League Cup round-of-16 tie.
Just to cement its legacy, Ricardo Rocha joined for £3.2m plus two friendlies between Tottenham and Benfica, with the Portuguese club keeping all the gate receipts. John’s brother would start just 16 games across three seasons.
WATFORD – Will Hoskins
It takes a pretty solid effort for a striker to score his first goal for his new club 19 months after joining. Will Hoskins was one of numerous last-ditch attempts made by Aidy Boothroyd to inspire the Hornets to Premier League safety in January 2007, with Moses Ashikodi, Lee Williamson, Steve Kabba, Gareth Williams, Johan Cavalli, Cedric Avinel and Douglas Rinaldi all failing to rescue a sinking ship. But it was Hoskins who arrived with perhaps the biggest reputation from Rotherham. The forward was loaned out twice in his first 12 months after signing, scoring seven goals in 60 league games for Watford before leaving in 2010. Northcote City, to save you the Google.
WEST HAM – Savio Nsereko
The worst January Premier League transfer of all. Savio has faked more of his own kidnappings than he has scored goals in England, despite reigning as West Ham’s club-record signing for four and a half years. The Hammers thought they had stolen a march on the rest of Europe when they brought the forward in for £9m, Savio having been named in the 2008 Under-19 Euros Team of the Tournament. Yet there was barely a hint of shock when a player who had scored three career goals in 22 games for Serie B side Brescia was lost in the crowd. After making just one Premier League start, he was sold to Fiorentina for £3m after six months.
WOLVES – Eggert Jonsson
Signed by Mick McCarthy and forgotten by Terry Connor in the Premier League, Eggert Jonsson actually managed to outlast not only his first two Wolves managers, but also Stale Solbakken and Dean ‘The Scout’ Saunders in the Championship. The midfielder played just seven times before being released from a contract that had two years remaining in 2013.
Matt Stead